The Final Countdown Begins!

Due to unforseen events and circumstances, i think i would need to step up the pace starting November. Things will even get harder from this point forward, but i have no other options but to do so.

This is probably my Year's Final countdown so to speak and with the remaining days that are left available to me, i wonder if i will be able to break the deadline that i had set upon myself. Well anyways, things may look difficult for now but i guess this is something that must happen.

The end of the year is just barely 2 months away and that time is far too short for the things that i wanted to do. Moving along those lines, a few obstacles has presented along the way as well. Meh~ it seems that the last quarter of this year has given me nothing but aches and worries and i hope by the end of this year, all these worrying and aches will be forever forgotten.

And yes, this is just my usual rambling for the week that has passed. I'll post a review during the weekends and i hope that you guys will look forward to it.

Till then...

Keep the Flames Burning!!

1 Step Forward 2 steps back

I had completely gotten used to my sleep/wake routine and everything seems to be fine as of late. With that out of the picture, i just quietly sat back and thought about the things that i had done in the past. As you may already know, at the start of this year i shared with you some of the things that i wanted to do in the future.

The one thing that kept me motivated is the phrase "If it is worth having, it's not going to be easy". Yeah, all of us have things that we wanted to do. Some of us have it hard, and some find it easy. Although those that didn't have a hard time in getting what they want, feel sort of "anti-climactic".

It's not that hard to imagine and most people would say "Sheesh, it was easier than i thought". Oh yeah~ learning another language and doing the things that you wanted to do is not a walk in the park. In fact, if you are really interested in learning something, you need to have the attitude to make it work.

I'll be honest, sometimes my laziness gets in the way of things. The "I'll do it later", "I'll do it tomorrow" kind of thing. This is the one attitude that i would really really really really....(you get the picture right?) really...want to get rid off.

*Sighs*

Well, even so I'm fairly satisfied on what i had done so far. Another issue that i would like to share is reaching my goal, without stepping on other people. Everyone wants to live peacefully. Nobody wants to have enemies. But, life is a journey that is full of ups and downs. Danger and anxiety always lurks around the corner of our lives. Last week, i did something unthinkable.

I forgave someone (in my heart) whom i really hated for a very long time now. There were even times when i told myself that "Even if God forgives him, I won't forgive him". Meh~~ i guess i just want to move forward with my life without the ache that is constantly eating out my heart. I'll just put that episode behind and will not look back.

This year I swear to myself that i will accomplish what i had started. Hopefully, no more obstacles and heartaches will be strong enough to make me waver. A few years from now, i want to look back at all the posts that i made in this blog and put a smile in my face.

I'll be able to trace the hardships that i had been through and tell myself "You did great! I'm very proud of you!"




Well, future me...i hope you remember this post well! You were here once! and never forget everything that you have done to reach this point! Lastly, don't wipe that silly grin on your face.

Till next time...

Keep the Flames Burning!!

It's the NEET thing to DO =)

In the modern world (our modern world), there are people that have a hard time in finding a job after they finish their studies. In some countries, particularly Japan...these people are called NEET's (Not in Employment Education or Training).

They are branded as the so called, rejects of society and these people often lose sight of their future and just "goes wit the flow" of things. It's sad but, it doesn't just happen in Japan but all over the world.

Now, the review that i am going to share with you is a group of NEET's, that is doing something to make their city a better place to live in.

And of course, since this week's title is "It's a NEET thing to do" then, most of you has an idea on what anime title we will be featuring this week. You're right, it is non other than "Kamisama no Memochou", which also means God's Notebook.



Narumi Fujishima is a highschool student that doesn't want to stand out in class. The reason is because, he doesn't want to be associated with anyone. He thinks that knowing people would just get in the way, if their family decides to move away once again.

His so called "peaceful days" became extinct when a girl named Shinozaki, Ayaka decided to make him a gardening club member. Well Narumi's luck really ran out when she met the girl named "Alice".

Alice which is a self proclaimed NEET Detective that solves crimes from the comforts of her own room (completely packed with stuff toys and state of the art computer softwares/hardwares). Narumi easily became her Dokupe opener (it is a drink that Alice loves) and part time assistant, when things get out of hand. Together with a group of "Elite NEETS" like the Fourth (Yakuza head), The General (Weapon, Gears Specialist), The Gambler (Mellee combat specialist) and the Playboy (Women Specialist...duh).

The story has somewhat a serious~ funny~ and hmmm....whats the word..."unpredictable" atmosphere that makes you want to crave for more. Kamisama Memochou is something that is worthwhile to watch, when you are looking for something cute, something modern and something realistic all in one package.

And yeah~ if you're still worried about my "Not sleeping habits" then, thank you for your concern. I'm doing well despite that fact and I'm sure that i'll continue to be well.

The Rain is coming really hard this month and somehow, it feels like more will come before the Christmas season.

Don't forget to bring your umbrella if you think that it will rain and don't forget...

Keep the Flames Burning!

In Between Dream and Reality

Ok, i have finally found a solution to my problem. The solution that i did to solve my problem was to "just ignore the problem". What? I'm not making any sense? Ok...i'll break it down to you guys =)

My Sleep problem has given me a lot of hardships in this past month and i believe that some of you had witnessed (eerrr read) my whining here in my blog. Like i said, i tried almost everything to cure it but to no avail. Even my second reflexology session seemed to have no effect at all. So what i did was, i ignored the problem all together ^__^

I just lay down at night, close my eyes and don't bother whether i sleep or not. Is it effective? yeah it is very effective :3 i get out of bed in the morning not feeling refreshed or anything. I go around doing the things that i usually do and surprisingly, i think my body adapted to my new daily errr...nightly routine.

Health concerns aside, i don't think that there is anything that i can do at the moment. The reflexology session paid off big time and my breathing and seemingly "blocked blood vessels" has been officially opened. Even though i don't get any sleep, i don't have any difficulty in breathing (which is a good thing).

Now, I resumed my Japanese self study lessons and i am trying to stick to my schedule (which had been messed by 1 1/2 months). Still, i believe that i made good progress in the few days that passed. The only thing that i need to do right now is to widen my Japanese Vocabulary. Yes, i can now read katakana and hiragana properly....(No don't ask me about kanji. I plan to do it after i mastered sentence construction and proper speech in Japanese).

Well, I'm also happy that i was able to resume going back to my online job. I had been a lazy bum for 2 months now and I'm glad that my boss is very generous and forgiving (thx ate ^_~ ). This past week has been busy and i think that even though i still can't get my well deserved sleep, that won't stop me from moving forward.

I'm not saying that i am used to not sleeping now. I'm saying that, this is the most that i can do for the moment. I don't think my sleeping habits have left me all together. I know that I just need to slowly trigger it from time to time and pray that everything will work out in the end.

Well =) i hope you guys have a great weekend and lastly, i will resume my anime reviews next week. Sorry for boring you guys with my whining and such... (But, Hey this is my Blog right?!?!).

Till Next Time!!

Keep The Flames Burning!!

Things You Can't Live Without

After my last post here in my blog, i sought the aid of a reflexologist to help me with my problem. Acupressure proved to be very effective and i was surprised to find myself falling asleep before i knew it. It was a wonderful experience and I was able to sleep for 3 straight days afterwards.

The momentum was broken on the fourth night, when my neighbors became too rowdy and were making a lot of noise. I was very annoyed because they kept me awake all night. The night after that it happened all over again. My sleep problem came back and i was once again in a very miserable state.

Currently, i'm not really sure if I'm sleeping or not at all. I tend to just close my eyes every night and wait for morning comes. Now, like i said...I'm not really sure if i am able to sleep at all or not because i tend to know my surroundings as if i was just there with my eyes closed.

Now, I don't feel refreshed at all in the mornings, but i don't feel fatigued either. It was like, I am tricking my body that i am actually asleep (even if i were not). That way my body doesn't react too badly because sometimes, when i think too much about my health...it triggers something and that is what makes the ordeal a lot heavier.

Its like a psychological disease and with that kind of problem, you need a psychological cure to fight it. Well anyways, for me this is just a temporary reprieve and i do hope that i can still return my state to the time after my acupressure session. If this week doesn't yield results, then i guess its time to call him once again.

Seriously, there are things in life that you just can't live without like sleep =)

Till next time...

Keep the Flames Burning!

Operation Reset Begins!

My severe insomniac is still going on and mind you, i am pretty exhausted after testing out everything that i can do to make me fall asleep. Right now, i'm happy if i can get 2-3 hours of rest (which happens at an interval of 4 straight days without sleep).

Health problems aside, i am thankful for the help that i am getting at the moment and i found something that might just "break the ice" so to speak. With that in mind and with that help, i am going to have this 1 week test if i can reset or create a new sleep pattern that will work out for me.

I know that i am not the only one who is experiencing this problem and i know for a fact that their could be millions (and even billions) of people who have the same problems that i do. Cure for it doesn't work on everybody...But, there are things that you can do in order to make a difference (and i hope that difference will work on me this week).

Truth be told, i am really scared to go to bed every night because i know that i won't be getting any sleep, no matter how hard i try. My body aches, my heart aches, my mind aches. It seems that every muscle and nerve in your body has reached their limit and you know deep inside that the longer this problem persist, then the more troubled and more dangerous it would be for you. Of course, thanks to the advice that i took i was enlightened.

"Nobody dies from not getting any sleep and Nobody can stay awake forever."

I found this one very true, because one way or the other you will pass out due to exhaustion. This is what i experienced when i wasn't able to get a minute of sleep for 6 straight days. The fatigue probably caught up with me and was rewarded with a few measly hours of sleep.

I read about this article while i was looking for a remedy on the internet about my problem. This so called "Sleep debt" which piles up everyday (if the person doesn't get any sleep). It said that this "debt" will grow and grow and take its toll on you, but you don't have to worry about it. You can pay it back, when you finally get that sleep that you are "dying for" to have.

Life is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice.
I believe in both though. Your chances in life gives you the ability to choose and for that, the same can be applied vice-versa.

On a side note, i think this is one of those signs that i always get from HIM. Every lesson that i get from life comes from experiences and problems that had been laid out to me by HIM and i know that if i will be able to get through with this one, then that will help me become a better person.

I often have a feeling that when HE does these things to me, he wants me to "Stop, Look and Think". What am i missing? What are the things that i forgot to do? What are the promises that i broke? The promises that i kept? The rules that i had applied for myself? My visions? My Missions? What is it really that i want to do? How will i be able to achieve it?

This wake up calls that i regularly get from him is something that i hate and appreciate at the same time. Hate it at first because it is troublesome and appreciate it at the end because of the things and lessons that i learned from the experience.

You might have known me for a person who always believe in the phrase "A blessing in Disguise". I really believe in that phrase because i am the living proof of those words. ^___^ i'm going to smile even if its painful because i know, that if i will be able to pass this test...then the reward will be all worth it.




I bid you guys a wonderful week and hope that you will be able to accomplish the things that you need to do.

Till next time...

Keep the Flames Burning!!

In Times of Great Need

I didn't know what happened, but it came and made a mess of my schedule and my life. Since August 3 I haven't had the luxury to sleep. Yes, it suddenly happened and left me with questions like "What, Why and When?", which i have no idea how to answer.

There were times when its hard to fall asleep, but even then i can still manage an hour or two of snooze to make me feel better. But now, i had none. The first 6 days was torture, pure hell if you would describe it. Not a minute of sleep, i just lie in my bed and wished that sleep will have mercy on me and give me the rest that i deserve.

Everyday without sleep left me gasping for breath. My head aches, my breathing is heavy, my body aches and most of all, the frustration was piling up. The clinic which i visited during those 6 days weren't able to help me. As a last resort, i begged the doctor to give me a shot of Diphenhydramine.

It was a scary experience. I thought that it will work instantly, but it started slow and made my senses numb. It was really scary...it makes you think that you would not wake up again if you manage to lose your consciousness. I managed to fight it off because my heartbeat suddenly picked up its pace. Then the fatigue finally caught up to me and i fell asleep at around 3am up to at least 7 in the morning.

After i woke up, i feel refreshed and thought that everything will return back to normal. I was gravely mistaken and my exodus continued.

On the 9th night...i reached my limit and was taken immediately to the hospital. On the way there, i was literally gasping for breath and trying my best to stay conscious. It made me think that "This is finally it" the day on which i might forever leave this world behind.

My breathing slowly returned to normal as i was attended by the nurses at the hospital. I was given a prescription and some pain relievers and sent home after i recovered.

After all that drama, i managed to get at least 5-6 hours of sleep thanks to the medicine that my doctor gave me. The Antihistamine drug that was prescribed to me was quite something. After that ordeal until now, i haven't got a wink of sleep once again.

Seriously, I envy those people who doesn't have a problem in getting to sleep whenever they want to. I was just like them, a few weeks ago. I felt like the sleep button on my head has been turned off. Its like a program that has been written and cannot be over-ruled.

Now, I feel very fatigued and very very dizzy. Still, even if i lay down on the bed, relax myself and do the things that are supposed to make me sleep...it's all useless.

How i wish that i can turn back time and go back to those days, when sleep was never an issue. I'm not sure how long i will be able to hold on, but until then i will do everything to put this problem behind me.

I would really like to write this one on my resume of life and talk to those who suffered the same problems that i did. I would tell them the things that i did to overcome that obstacle and make them feel a little better. But, i can't do that right now. I wish that someone will tell me what to do, because I'm really desperate at the moment.

I hope you guys won't get this very problematic problem. Not getting any sleep...sucks and i do not recommend these sensations that I'm feeling at the moment.

SLeep well everyone and till then...


Keep the Flames Burning!