Operation Reset Begins!

My severe insomniac is still going on and mind you, i am pretty exhausted after testing out everything that i can do to make me fall asleep. Right now, i'm happy if i can get 2-3 hours of rest (which happens at an interval of 4 straight days without sleep).

Health problems aside, i am thankful for the help that i am getting at the moment and i found something that might just "break the ice" so to speak. With that in mind and with that help, i am going to have this 1 week test if i can reset or create a new sleep pattern that will work out for me.

I know that i am not the only one who is experiencing this problem and i know for a fact that their could be millions (and even billions) of people who have the same problems that i do. Cure for it doesn't work on everybody...But, there are things that you can do in order to make a difference (and i hope that difference will work on me this week).

Truth be told, i am really scared to go to bed every night because i know that i won't be getting any sleep, no matter how hard i try. My body aches, my heart aches, my mind aches. It seems that every muscle and nerve in your body has reached their limit and you know deep inside that the longer this problem persist, then the more troubled and more dangerous it would be for you. Of course, thanks to the advice that i took i was enlightened.

"Nobody dies from not getting any sleep and Nobody can stay awake forever."

I found this one very true, because one way or the other you will pass out due to exhaustion. This is what i experienced when i wasn't able to get a minute of sleep for 6 straight days. The fatigue probably caught up with me and was rewarded with a few measly hours of sleep.

I read about this article while i was looking for a remedy on the internet about my problem. This so called "Sleep debt" which piles up everyday (if the person doesn't get any sleep). It said that this "debt" will grow and grow and take its toll on you, but you don't have to worry about it. You can pay it back, when you finally get that sleep that you are "dying for" to have.

Life is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice.
I believe in both though. Your chances in life gives you the ability to choose and for that, the same can be applied vice-versa.

On a side note, i think this is one of those signs that i always get from HIM. Every lesson that i get from life comes from experiences and problems that had been laid out to me by HIM and i know that if i will be able to get through with this one, then that will help me become a better person.

I often have a feeling that when HE does these things to me, he wants me to "Stop, Look and Think". What am i missing? What are the things that i forgot to do? What are the promises that i broke? The promises that i kept? The rules that i had applied for myself? My visions? My Missions? What is it really that i want to do? How will i be able to achieve it?

This wake up calls that i regularly get from him is something that i hate and appreciate at the same time. Hate it at first because it is troublesome and appreciate it at the end because of the things and lessons that i learned from the experience.

You might have known me for a person who always believe in the phrase "A blessing in Disguise". I really believe in that phrase because i am the living proof of those words. ^___^ i'm going to smile even if its painful because i know, that if i will be able to pass this test...then the reward will be all worth it.




I bid you guys a wonderful week and hope that you will be able to accomplish the things that you need to do.

Till next time...

Keep the Flames Burning!!

In Times of Great Need

I didn't know what happened, but it came and made a mess of my schedule and my life. Since August 3 I haven't had the luxury to sleep. Yes, it suddenly happened and left me with questions like "What, Why and When?", which i have no idea how to answer.

There were times when its hard to fall asleep, but even then i can still manage an hour or two of snooze to make me feel better. But now, i had none. The first 6 days was torture, pure hell if you would describe it. Not a minute of sleep, i just lie in my bed and wished that sleep will have mercy on me and give me the rest that i deserve.

Everyday without sleep left me gasping for breath. My head aches, my breathing is heavy, my body aches and most of all, the frustration was piling up. The clinic which i visited during those 6 days weren't able to help me. As a last resort, i begged the doctor to give me a shot of Diphenhydramine.

It was a scary experience. I thought that it will work instantly, but it started slow and made my senses numb. It was really scary...it makes you think that you would not wake up again if you manage to lose your consciousness. I managed to fight it off because my heartbeat suddenly picked up its pace. Then the fatigue finally caught up to me and i fell asleep at around 3am up to at least 7 in the morning.

After i woke up, i feel refreshed and thought that everything will return back to normal. I was gravely mistaken and my exodus continued.

On the 9th night...i reached my limit and was taken immediately to the hospital. On the way there, i was literally gasping for breath and trying my best to stay conscious. It made me think that "This is finally it" the day on which i might forever leave this world behind.

My breathing slowly returned to normal as i was attended by the nurses at the hospital. I was given a prescription and some pain relievers and sent home after i recovered.

After all that drama, i managed to get at least 5-6 hours of sleep thanks to the medicine that my doctor gave me. The Antihistamine drug that was prescribed to me was quite something. After that ordeal until now, i haven't got a wink of sleep once again.

Seriously, I envy those people who doesn't have a problem in getting to sleep whenever they want to. I was just like them, a few weeks ago. I felt like the sleep button on my head has been turned off. Its like a program that has been written and cannot be over-ruled.

Now, I feel very fatigued and very very dizzy. Still, even if i lay down on the bed, relax myself and do the things that are supposed to make me sleep...it's all useless.

How i wish that i can turn back time and go back to those days, when sleep was never an issue. I'm not sure how long i will be able to hold on, but until then i will do everything to put this problem behind me.

I would really like to write this one on my resume of life and talk to those who suffered the same problems that i did. I would tell them the things that i did to overcome that obstacle and make them feel a little better. But, i can't do that right now. I wish that someone will tell me what to do, because I'm really desperate at the moment.

I hope you guys won't get this very problematic problem. Not getting any sleep...sucks and i do not recommend these sensations that I'm feeling at the moment.

SLeep well everyone and till then...


Keep the Flames Burning!

Me and The Queen's Classroom

Well, i finished watching my first J-Drama and it was an experience. First off, the acting wasn't that good in the earlier episodes. However, once you get used to it and got sucked up in the story, then you might even surprise yourself.

My main reason for watching this drama is because a friend recommended it to me. It was also a good opportunity to understand more about the language. I just recently realized that watching drama's and anime's are two different things. I can immediately tell that i will be able to learn something, if i keep on watching a few more of these Japanese drama series.

Akutsu Maya is a devilish teacher who teached the class of Grade 6 class 3. She was a very mean teacher and all of the students were afraid of her. However, there was a student who seems to be an idiot and refuses to acknowledge her ways of teaching.

This girl's name was Kanda Kazumi. Akutsu sensei, made her life miserable. She made her friends betray her, she made her feel helpless and most of all, she made her feel alone. At first sight, you will think that Akutsu Maya is doing this for her own self satisfaction.

I remembered the time when i was still studying in highschool (yes highschool, not elementary), there was a strict teacher whom i really like. He was our science teacher and he can really be harsh at times, especially when carrying out disciplinary measures towards his students.




Since then, i found a soft spot for strict teachers and if possible, i wanted to have more of them when i entered college. But alas....college wasn't anything like that. The teachers their were so "effing nice". Still, it was a good experience for me and i love them anyways.

As the story progressed, the class got united again, then was broken apart again. They tried their best to get rid of her, but she manages to elude all of their plans, each and every time.

In the end, Katsumi realized that she is actually a good teacher and even though Akutsu Sensei denies it. Kazumi and her classmates finally understood, that their "Devil Teacher" was doing it for them.

Kill Joys are free to watch this Japanese Drama Series, but let me tell you in advance...You might find the acting on the first few episodes...not to your liking. But! This show is incredibly, heart warming and you might even learn a lesson or two...under Akutsu Sensei's Teaching.

It's raining a lot lately and their are times when i feel like, i should just lie down and sleep. I really love this season, more rainy days to come!!

Bah~ of course, not everyone likes it. :3 to those that are having problems with this weather that we are having as of late....i pity you >:P


Well, till next time guys...

Keep the Flames Burning!!